I'm done chasing you & trying to make shit work with you. I'm done with this shit. You still want to go out & have fun with girls. Well Fck You. Good luck. I'm done sitting here always getting hurt with your bullshit. you lie & lie & lie. I'm fcking done. No more answering your calls & no more texting you. I'm done with this shit. you don't love me. you never did. FUCK YOU !

Ughh my other blog is being a total whack job !

October 24, 2004

It's been 6 years since we broke up & I still love you. Maybe, because you were the first guy I've ever fallen in love with. I remember when we broke up we both cried & I didn't realize that you were trying to get back with me. I should have opened my eyes. . maybe we could've lasted for a very long time. .

It's summer time & you know what always happens when summer comes around. . We always end up having that summer love with each other. . You & I had a talk about this & you even admitted that it was summer love. .

Oh gawd I can't believe I still have these strong feelings for you. . All I know is that I've always loved you & I've never stopped. . Even when I was dating someone else. No other guys can compare to you. I'm still madly in love with you ♥

I've been having back pains for the longest time now. . I hate it ! I don't know what's wrong with me :\ My back has been hurting for the past few months now & sometimes it'll go away for awhile, but then it'll come back. I just recently took a pain killer hoping that the pain will go away, but it hasn't gone away & I'm still in pain. Right now I just want to shoot myself so I won't feel all this stuff. -___- I'm not on my period or anything & I'm still having back problems. . what the hell is wrong with me . . whatevers I hope it doesn't ruin my night tonight with my best friend ♥
Tonight, my best friend will be picking me up so I can sleepover and spend time with her. I hope we don't party anything, She say's that all we'll do is just smoke hookah at her place & that we can invite people over. I don' t know who I'd want to invite I have someone in mind, but I'm kinda ehhh about asking him to hang out. haha I feel like when the night is over he'll ask to take me home & I'll end up ditching my best friend, but I don't want to do that. . It'll just be fcked up & I know what will happen if he did take me home. Things will just lead to the next one & shit. Ughhh I don't know what's wrong with me I'm stuck in love with both of my ex's this sucks. -_-
It's 12:11 pm & there's nothing to do this fine afternoon. I haven't talked to my cousin or his girlfriend for a week right now. I don't know if they're mad at me or anything. Usually my cousins girlfriend texts me, but she hasn't texted me. I guess my cousin doesn't want her talking to me or something. Whatever. . He always does this. . Stupid cousin always trippin' that me & his girlfriend get a long.
My ex called me this morning it's nice getting phone calls from him. . Every time he calls me & before he says goodbye he'll say " okay, I'll call you later ." & i'll reply saying " okay bye" & he'll say " okay bye I lo..bye i messh you" & I laugh every time that happens. I don't want to believe him when he says that & I'm not going to fall for him & his stupid games. I know once school will start for him he'll drop me & find someone else or he'll hide it or something. I guess I still don't trust him, but that's okay. . Because sooner or later I'll find someone else also.

ehhh.. I hate my life right now.

Don't lie to your feelings. Sooner or later, it'll be the thing that you'll regret the most.

I lied, I'm still not over you.

blah blah blah . Hi ! My name is Robin :)

I'm still unsure on what's going on between us. . I'm scared that all you're going to do is hurt me.
You're planning to hang out with some girl you haven't even met yet . . What if she wins your heart ? & you fall for her. .

i hate that you're gone.

I hate the fact that you moved away . . We we're only together for a year & two months when you left. . I hate how once you got to Chicago everything between us fell apart. We didn't trust each other & we always fought over stupid things. . We only made it to One Year & Three Months. . & then you broke up with me & never wanted me to be in your life anymore. . So I did what you wished for & stopped calling & texting you. The 3 Months that went by of us not talking to each other killed me. . I thought about you everyday. The first few weeks I cried myself to sleep wishing that you'd call just so I can hear your voice again, but I got nothing. The first month for me was terrible, the second month I thought I was over you I went from a phase of being so sad & depressed to being happy . . That month I always told myself that I was over you & for a second I believed in myself. . I really thought I was over you. . Until I saw one our mutual friends & he brought you up & it just made me think deep down that I'm still in love with you. . that was the beginning of the third month & as the weeks went by I always looked at my phone & wanted to text you. . Then finally one day I had the courage to text you & say hi. . We ended up telling each other we miss each other. It was the most greatest feeling ever. . We texted for a little bit that day. . then the next day I didn't hear from you & the day after you'd text me. It was that same routine for about two weeks. One day you'd text me the next day you didn't then you'd text me again. . Ugh. I hated that I felt like I was being used or something, but now I hear from you everyday. You call me at night just so I can fall asleep with you on the phone. You text me in the middle of the day just to say that you miss me. It feels like we're together again. . just without the "i love yous."

Honestly, I hate that you're not mine. Why can't we just be together ? Is it because you're going to start school soon & you don't plan to talk to me, because some other girl might come around. . I tell everyone that I don't even have feelings for you anymore & that talking to you is just a game for me, but really it isn't. I want us to be together again. . I really do. You can't have me sitting around waiting three years for you to come back home & be with me. .

stop playing these stupid games with me . . all you're doing is hurting me.

I'm new to this site & it's really confusing. Oh well I'll get used to it sooner or later. :)